Hello guys. 

I really do apologise for missing my Sunday post yesterday :( 

I will however, have a *bonus* post on my blog this week. So stay tuned. 

My head was just a ball of tangled clutter. What a strange weekend it has been.

Tears, disappointment, calmness, confusion and love. 

I have been questioning myself on ...... 

Am I good enough or deserving of......aspects of my life. Being a mummy, my partner, my mum to name a few. 

A lot of this, stems from my size and general insecurities I have.

These are things I often think about, but I can usually remove the thought quickly, or answer yes I am (it has taken a GREAT DEAL of continuous practise). This weekend I have not been able to, and even writing this I am still wondering.

I feel so bad to even write that, yet, think these things; as I am so grateful and feel incredibly blessed, to be alive and live the life I have. 

Dealing with depression for me is an every day battle. Some days are amazing, some days are black; but I am so thankful to be on the brighter side of my depression. 

I have really been trying to exercise thinking positively each night and each morning, especially to help set my day up with a positive start. 

Start as you mean to go on they say.

I have some amazing people in my life who I love greatly and who love me too. 

My son has been and will always be my reason for living, my driving force, the constant smile and warmth in my heart. He is a treasure. I love you so much Cairo. Thank you for being as loud, as clingy, as moany, as independent, as smart, as cute, as boisterous and as funny as you are. 

I have so much to be happy and thankful for. Eventually I will get the emotional balance right.

I am on a quest to be the happiest and best version of me that I can be. Physically, emotionally and mentally. 

And ridiculous or not, I am going to try to document this journey on the World Wide Web. Oh boi lol. 

xx